THE CONSTANT STRUGGLE FOR INDEPENDENCE
Funny how times fly.
I remember starting in primary school scared shitless, because my parents had to leave me there in Reception class with a bunch of people I had never seen before. After spending 4 and a half years being with pretty much no one but your own family, it’s a daunting thing having to socialise with other human beings, however it is an obvious necessity when living here on planet Earth.
Independence is something we all learn one way or another and is better experienced from a young age, allowing us to interact with our environment and other members of our species without the need for another person to tell us what to do and how to do it. The older you become this peaks and troughs, with the need for independence low in your childhood, increasing in your adolescence which then maximises in your 20’s and early 30’s because of the reduction of involvement of relying on relatives to help with particular circumstances. As you approach your late 30’s & 40’s the chances of having/starting a family are high because of the family age stereotype, which results in the need for independence to decrease as the male/female can seemingly rely on their partner for support. As the age increases, the need for independence dramatically reduces since the Father & Mother naturally become closer with the family they grew distant to within their years of independence, giving an increased mental and emotional support frame for the individual; sustained even until this persons death since they become less capable of looking after themselves, due to loss of certain bodily functions naturally occurring in older people and the need for physical maintenance.
My experiences and knowledge of Independence have shown me that it is a continuous learning process, and never will it stop. Even at the prime ages where it is at its uttermost peak, I have seen people in their late 20’s return to the life they once knew and go back to live with their parents because they felt life was too hard without someone to constantly encourage, care and consult with them about their own life. It is like someone wanting to return to a child, but since they can’t physically they do so mentally which I find rather intriguing. Their are many sides to being a fully independent person, some people believe Independence is freedom, and some believe Independence is being alone, but many factors from our past can inflict on your level of this today. For a rather large percent of the population, our parents cared for us a lot and with that they did everything in their power to raise us in a fair and just environment. The problem occurs though, when the facts are the world does not function on that principle today. The rules in the world usually protect either the majority or the minority (which you may not be a part of), being usually people with a certain amount of money and power. You could most likely be treated worse off for all sorts of normal things such a your skin color, your intelligence, your height, your weight, how much money you have, your opinions, your gender, and just about everything else that makes you who you are.
The keys to being independent lie with the ability to accept the fact that other people do what they do, say what they want and have their own agenda and morals just like you; and not to try and change them in any way even if you don’t agree or they do not like you. Allow you to be yourself & any negative energies can pass through you since you are an individual, and not part of a collective unit with a doctrine of what to think or say.
When we grow, we learn off other people. We pick up certain ways of doing things which can be as small as brushing your teeth or cooking some pasta or as huge as how you treat the opposite sex and the way you think (logical, creative, patient, impatient). Growing up in a world which we are constantly connected to everything and everyone around us, it becomes very easy from a young age to adapt the ways of others to our own and think that it is us who is consciously making the decisions. What this unknowingly creates in the world is an ecology which we seemingly loose our own identity from that we were born with, becoming one with society forming a generation of sheepish individuals blending in with what is in trend at that time. This approach in how people work is a mix between the Social Learning Theory and the Behaviourist Approach in psychology, as the view of people learning off others by observing them is merged with how we can understand others by observing their behaviour.
To explain and simplify, the Following is a Speech from Christian Slater in the TV Series Mr Robot:
” We grow up in a world built on fantasy. Synthetic emotions in the form of pills. Psychological warfare in the form of advertising. Mind-altering chemicals in the form of food. Brainwashing seminars in the form of media. Controlled isolated bubbles in the form of social networks. Real? You wanna talk about reality? We haven’t lived in anything remotely close to it since the turn of the century. Turn it off, take out the batteries. Digital displays, hypnotizing us into the biggest slumber mankind has ever seen. You’d have to dig pretty deep, kiddo, before you can find anything real. ”
Independence is a hard concept to grasp when we are being attacked by every possible angle to not be independent. Learning to think for ourselves is a part of existing, since no one person is the same, even identical twins. Next time you think about buying that trendy piece of clothing ask yourself if you are getting it because you actually want to or if you are about to go on Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram or Facebook how about you turn it off and just let your thoughts muster for a few minutes. Spending time on your own without a phone or anyone around you can help you second by second to become a more independent person. Just remember, your life isn’t just one battle, but hundreds of them every day and you have to understand this before you learn to control and form them into a One Way War.